By Grant Simon
103
This number represents the days that passed between when my long distance girlfriend, Vali, and I left each other’s side in March and when we were reunited in July.
We thought the first couple of days apart would be the toughest, but nothing prepared us to endure several months of uncertainty, anxiety, and stress.
The world around us was changing rapidly due to the spread of COVID-19 and neither of us knew what would happen next. There was a flurry of different emotions that overwhelmed both of us as borders were closed down and love was deemed non-essential. Sadness. Anger. Regret. Most of all we were scared. We both considered the crazy possibilities of jumping on a last minute flight out of our respective countries to be with each other.
As weeks passed and we adjusted to our new normal, our emotions calmed down and we adopted a new mindset. We realized that to make it through, we must see the positives that were hiding within this moment. Below are three activities that helped Vali and me grow closer as a couple while we couldn’t see each other.
Activity 1 – Time To Reflect On Our Relationship
With the hustle and bustle of life, rarely do we have a chance to sit down and think about what we actually want out of our relationship. Sometimes relationships become comfortable and it’s easier to stay rather than leave. When you have a partner that’s so far away in another country, it’s the exact opposite. With so much time apart from each other, we allowed ourselves to individually figure out how we can best support each other as partners.
We determined what values were important to us and discussing these values brought us closer together as a couple.
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Activity 2 – Active Listening
Active listening is one of the most valuable skills that you can have for any relationship, but for a long distance relationship, listening is critical. Truly listening (without any distractions) to each other’s needs, wants, and desires helped both of us understand each other’s perspective, something that’s easier said than done when you each come from a different culture and background. We implemented a time each day to be present for each other and listen to what the other partner had to say. Some of our conversations were short, but some lasted for hours talking about whatever came to mind.
Activity 3 – Appreciate Each Other
When you’re away from your partner, there’s no possibility of physical touch to remind each other that you love and care for the other. It becomes that much more important to set aside time to say words of affirmation. We made sure to never end a phone or video call (even if we were mad at each other) without saying words of affirmation. It made both of us feel loved and appreciated.
While nothing could have prepared Vali and I for the start of the pandemic, these activities made our relationship grow stronger than ever. When we reunited in July, we were that much more grateful to see each other again after 3 and half months apart. I can truly say love is essential.
Grant Simon is an entrepreneur, writer, personal trainer, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner and an endorphins chaser. He has climbed a volcano in Chile, swam with sharks in the Galapagos Islands, and survived a motorcycle crash in Thailand. Besides raising his heart rate in over 35 countries, the Chicago native enjoys birdwatching, reading the newspaper, and eating too many pancakes in one sitting. He is currently based in Chicago, plotting his next bold move. Digital Agency: www.aracari.co
Photo by Korney Violin on Unsplash
