By Laura Crandall
Slowing down: the antidote to a busy, hectic life
The thought of trying to “slow down” your schedule may seem nearly impossible. You may feel like you’d love to slow down – but you’re just too busy! The nature of our work and the rhythm of our lives makes moving at a speed other than “warp” very difficult. It’s normal to be booked from morning to night without a moment of peace to yourself. But have you ever run into someone who was relaxed about their work and not remotely harried about their schedule? If we saw this person in the wild, we might assume they are stoned, lack a good work ethic, or are disinterested in what they’re doing. Or we might be impressed to the point of shock.
Seeing people who are calm, relaxed, and reflective about their work is an unexpected balm for the soul. There something powerful and appealing about people who seem to be in the state of relaxed happiness and satisfaction as they go about their work and their lives. When was the last time you are around someone like that? When was the last time you felt like that? How would it feel if you could do that now? I suspect it would feel delightful.
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Our culture is speedy, and it’s hard function in a slower, more relaxed way, so how do we do it? Here are my suggestions:
1) Know your values. I know what my key values are, and I connect them every day. I pause each morning to remind myself of them and commit to trying to use them within my work and my attitudes. Even that small step helps me focus and build the character I want. It’s a deliberate act that encourages me to pause and reflect before I act.
2) Evaluate what requires your time and your energy. The classic Eisenhower Matrix that Stephen Covey popularized is a good way to evaluate what’s urgent in relationship to what’s important. Ask when you think that things have to be done right now, consider whether that is actually true (there’s an immediate, unchangeable deadline) or if it would just be handy if we’re done now (it’s something you want to take off your to do list). Knowing which tasks are urgent and which ones are important (most of them are not both) helps you gain a sense of confidence and ease as you work.
3) Know how to floor it. We can be addicted to the adrenaline-laced busyness of life. This is more than just having too many things that we need or want to do. If you find that your default is a pace that feels exhausting but is impossible to stop, ask yourself why feeling busy is so important. Be willing to examine what your frenetic pace is doing for you. It’s good to know how to go like hell when you need to, but if feeling relaxed and satisfied is what you’re after, it’s not a great tool to use all the time.
Then ask yourself about what you need to be able to hit the gas when you have to. Is it a good night’s sleep and some exercise? Is it a having a reliable team around you? Whatever you need, know how to replenish your energy so you can act swiftly if you need to – and then use it with care.
4) Practice reflecting. Do you make time in your day to consider things? Not dwell on, not worry over, but just pause and reflect – sort of like gazing on your thoughts from a distance. You may be thinking, “Wait, you want me to find even more time to THINK when I’m already flat-out?” Yes, and no. Making time to reflect can be as simple as taking 15 minutes to walk around the block or driving in the car without turning the radio on.
Being quiet and reflecting may feel weird if you’re not used to it. That’s ok – do it anyway. Connect this question to your values from step one. Then just reflect on your day or week and look for ways your values were evident. You don’t need to judge, just notice. When you begin again tomorrow, slowly remember what your saw reflected in your values and consider how you might notice them more deliberately throughout the day. The key is to observe and then fold them in – slowly.
These four ideas are tools you can use to create some time and space for yourself in your day. They can help you discover moments that are a little easier, a little less hectic. Moments add up to hours and hours to days. Before you know it, you are moving in a relaxed and confident way and feeling pretty fantastic.
