Now isn’t the time to stick with the masses. Now is the time to let your personal values shine through.
In a world that is constantly powered on, demanding of you in energy, time and opinion, it can feel overwhelming to just be an individual.
The fact that we are bombarded with real and virtual streams of information and opinions can make us feel numb, anxious or outraged all the time. There is so much information and work to stay on top of, that without a clear compass or direction, we may find ourselves in motion but not moving in our desired direction.
Most people reflexively choose to attach themselves to the loudest, strongest or closest voice or person around when they have no personal values of their own. If everyone around you is worried about climate change, climate change may become important to you. If everyone around you is agitated by the #metoo movement, chances are you may be too.
Humans influence humans and without personal values of your own, you will always be influenced by others. The opinions, theories and values of the people around us shape us if we don’t shape ourselves.
So what are personal values?
Personal values are characteristics that are important to us, that are crucial in motivating and guiding our behaviors and decisions. Our personal values express what we find worthy. They are the attributes we hold close and act out most often when making decisions and living our lives.
They are like the operating system that guides us in the background. You can’t see the operating system physically, but it’s there.
How and why do we form personal values?
When we are born into the world, we imbibe the values of the people in our environment – our parents, playmates, surrounding adults. It’s just natural to assimilate their values, they are our first points of interaction and form our worldview at that time.
As we grow and enlarge the pool of our interactions, we come to witness other values that are different from the ones in our first environment. We begin to see how other people make decisions, what influences their choices, their guiding principles and we begin to weigh what we are witnessing with what we assimilated at childhood.
This is the point where we begin to form our own values and determine what is most important from the cluster of information we’ve gained in life.
Some people value competition over collaboration, while others value collaboration. Some people place the family at the core of what they do and who they are, while others choose work and hobbies.
You get to choose what matters to you. You get to choose your values.
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The path of least resistance
For most people, in moments of chaos, it is easier to run with the crowd. You think to yourself: ninety-nine people out of a hundred can’t be wrong, can they? But the assumption here is that all ninety-nine people spent a moment in thought before action. Maybe one person did and made the first move, and ninety-eight people and you followed after him.
How can you escape this herd mentality?
By making your decisions ahead of time, and that’s what values are.
Your values keep you grounded in the knowledge of who you are, what you tolerate and what you stand for. Your values direct your life. They determine your autopilot decisions: those decisions you make when you aren’t really thinking.
Without personal values, you will be a blend of the other people in your real and virtual life. These people will make your most important decisions for you and you will not even notice. How you dress. How you speak and present yourself. Where you go. What your goals are. And where you end up.
The loudness of social media
We cannot ignore that now, more than ever, we stare at screens almost all through our waking hours: it could be work, it could be entertainment, you may be walking on the street and it’s flashing billboard signs. Whatever the scenario, screens are sending messages to us twenty-four hours, seven days a week.
We consume graphic images and information consciously and subconsciously. This means we spend most of our days absorbing the values of others more than we do our own. If we do not self-reflect and know what our personal values are, we dilute the essence of who we become.
It’s time to find you again
With the special global events that opened 2020, and also with the ongoing coronavirus pandemic which does make one pause and think, we need to remind ourselves of what is important, what our true causes are, what we may fight for and aspire towards.
When you know your values, it’s easier to answer these life-size questions and find purpose in work and life. You can form original opinions, choose your battles wisely, find peace in the midst of storms, and stay away from energy that does not align with yours.
Good personal values protect your mental health from unnecessary assault and turmoil.
In conclusion
We may live in a globally connected world but you do not have to lose your individuality to the crowd. You do not want to get stripped of your character, essence and values because you listened to other people’s voices more than your own.
Considering that personal values are like a testament to yourself, it is incredibly important to co-author your story using the same digital tools that bring in streams of imposing views to curate things that show your values, things you want to see in the world. Like A Life of Character :-).
Knowing your values and being intentional about applying them helps you show your true self while interacting with the rest of the world, which has a ripple effect on how the world, in turn, engages with you.
It is therefore critical that you find and hold on to personal values of your own to be able to shape your experience of the world. You can not control what happens in the world, but you can create boundaries and openings around the experiences and encounters that come into your life.
Take some time to think about this today. What values are most personal to you? Are you deliberately shaping your life?
Kelechi Udoagwu is a freelance writer and founder of Week of Saturdays, a platform for digital freelancers and remote workers living in Africa.
